When I was young, someone very close to me tried to commit suicide.  We were at a football game in the marching band, and after performing our halftime show, I was pulled aside by a few people who were telling me that this person had passed out,  was being taken to the hospital, and I needed to get there.  I was ushered to a van by a sweet family that I barely knew who dropped me off at the hospital, took me into the emergency department, and left.  I was met with a frazzled band director who said “oh, thank God,” and left.
 
I stood there in the sterile, white room with this beautiful girl, holding her hair back while she threw up the activated charcoal and contents of her stomach until my parents arrived a while later.  After the initial shock and adrenaline wore off, I dealt with feelings of sadness, confusion, anger, more anger, and still more anger.  Being around the age of 14 at the time, I couldn’t understand how mental illness played a part in this girl’s decision; this girl I had looked up to for so long and who played such a huge part in my life.  I couldn’t begin to see why there wasn’t anything worth living for - why I wasn’t worth living for.  (Yes, it was a selfish worldview, but I was 14.  I would expect nothing more from a child.) 

Life is hard, life is messy, and no one is immune. 
So where was God in this?  Where was God when I was yelling at her after repeated suicide attempts?  Why didn’t God shield me from this awful life circumstance when I was barely able to understand why I had to keep my room clean?

As it turns out, God was there the whole time.  He was giving me peace, and shelter.  Hindsight being what it is, I can see God in this whole ordeal even though at the time I couldn’t understand why this was happening, and what I had to learn from this.  Why was I here?  Why was she here?  Could I have been a better influence in her life?  I felt as if my heart had been pricked and would never be whole again, but it can be.  Verse 2 says: “My God is my refuge and my fortress.  My God, in Whom I trust”  My trust in God has grown ever since that day, and although I had been broken, God was and is my refuge.  I can go to Him and feel His peace every single day, so that when my world is crashing, I can say “it is well with my soul.”